Scoring guide
9-10: Excellent — Best practice example7-8: Good — Minor improvements possible
5-6: Adequate — Notable issues to address
3-4: Needs work — Significant problems
0-2: Poor — Major revision required
E-commerce checkout error
- Before
- After
“An error has occurred while processing your payment. Please try again later or contact customer support if the problem persists.”Overall: 3/10 — Poor user experience
Analysis
score
default:"2/10"
Doesn’t help user recover or understand next steps
score
default:"4/10"
18 words, vague timeframe (“later”)
score
default:"4/10"
Robotic system-speak (“an error has occurred”)
score
default:"2/10"
What error? When is “later”? Why did it fail?
SaaS dashboard empty state
- Before
- After
Mobile app permission request
- Before
- After
“‘AppName’ Would Like to Access Your Location”
[Allow] [Don’t Allow]Overall: 5/10 — Adequate but could be better
[Allow] [Don’t Allow]
Analysis
score
default:"4/10"
Doesn’t explain benefit to user
score
default:"7/10"
Adequate length but no context
score
default:"6/10"
Standard iOS pattern, not particularly engaging
score
default:"5/10"
Action is clear but reason isn’t
Account deletion confirmation
- Before
- After
“Are you sure you want to delete your account? This action cannot be undone. All your data will be permanently deleted.”Overall: 6/10 — Adequate but could be improved
Analysis
score
default:"6/10"
Warns of consequences but feels heavy-handed
score
default:"5/10"
19 words, some redundancy (“permanently deleted”)
score
default:"5/10"
Somewhat robotic multiple sentences
score
default:"7/10"
Consequences are clear
Password requirements
- Before
- After
“Password must contain at least 8 characters including uppercase letters, lowercase letters, numbers and special characters.”Overall: 5/10 — Adequate but not optimal
Analysis
score
default:"7/10"
Provides requirements but hard to scan
score
default:"4/10"
17 words in one dense sentence
score
default:"5/10"
List reads like technical documentation
score
default:"6/10"
Complete info but overwhelming format
Newsletter unsubscribe confirmation
- Before
- After
“You have been successfully unsubscribed from our mailing list. You will no longer receive emails from us. Thank you for your participation.”Overall: 4/10 — Needs work
Analysis
score
default:"4/10"
Overly formal for someone leaving
score
default:"3/10"
23 words, lots of redundancy
score
default:"3/10"
Corporate, stiff
score
default:"7/10"
Message is clear but verbose
File upload progress
- Before
- After
Common patterns across these improvements
Lead with specifics
“We couldn’t process your payment” vs “An error occurred”
Show user benefit first
“Find coffee shops” before “access location”
Use contractions
“You’re” feels human, “You are” feels robotic
Break dense text
Two short lines beat one long sentence
Remove redundancy
“Permanently deleted” → “can’t be undone”
Use active voice
“Create a password” vs “Password must contain”
Provide recovery paths
Always tell users what to do next
Respect user decisions
Don’t guilt-trip people who opt out
Quick self-audit questions
Use these to improve any UX text:Can I remove any words without losing meaning?
Can I remove any words without losing meaning?
Every word should have a job. Cut filler words like “basically,” “actually,” “just.”
Does this explain what the user needs to know right now?
Does this explain what the user needs to know right now?
Focus on immediate, actionable information. Save details for help docs.
Would I actually say this out loud to a friend?
Would I actually say this out loud to a friend?
If it sounds robotic or corporate when spoken, rewrite it.
Is there a specific verb I could use instead of a generic one?
Is there a specific verb I could use instead of a generic one?
“Delete” is clearer than “remove” for permanent actions. “Save” is clearer than “OK.”
Am I showing value before asking for something?
Am I showing value before asking for something?
Lead with user benefit: “Find nearby stores” before “Allow location access.”